


late nights.

by pjmist



Category: K-pop, Wonder Girls
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-16
Updated: 2017-02-16
Packaged: 2018-09-24 17:51:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9777305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pjmist/pseuds/pjmist
Summary: There's a full moon outside and Sunmi can't sleep.





	

**Author's Note:**

> originally posted on [aff](http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1189769/late-nights-sunmi)

It had started as one.

 

A thought, slowly, very slowly drifting through her mind.

 

One turned into two. Two to three. Three to four, then suddenly four is actually ten and that's really two-hundred-and-seventeen and so on and so forth.

 

A molecule to a compound to a droplet to a river to a sea.

 

Sunmi sometimes feels as if she is drowning. It doesn't show.

 

It never does.

 

She has an easy going and carefree smile. If one were to see her, they would think that she enjoyed every moment of her life, despite the heavy schedules and lack of privacy or comfort.

 

One would think she was very happy. 

 

She isn't, but she's not sad either. 

 

Sunmi doesn't understand how feelings work anymore.

 

Since she had turned eighteen, apathy had become a part of her and she of it.

 

She is 24 now and fighting a losing battle for control.

 

_Why did I become like this? Why only me?_

 

Thinking about it makes her head hurt so she shakes it off (literally) and looks for a distraction. She walks over to the window and notes that she's awfully tired and that it is 11:36 PM.

 

The first thing she sees is a full moon. A small smile graces her face as her own song slowly floats up to her amidst the sea of thoughts.

 

If you see a full moon you have to sing it; that's an official rule in the JYP building. What had started as a joke became a sort of ritual, and with eyes closed she sings softly to herself.

 

Another part of the rule is that you have to remember everything during that time. Only she follows it.

 

Memories begin to pass through her one by one.

 

Dying her hair all sorts of colors to find the perfect look.

 

Filming the music video and then watching it again with the members and laughing with them even though nothing was supposed to be funny.

 

Getting her first win and having GOT7 right beside her, happy as if they themselves had gotten first place.

 

Wining an award at the MAMAs.

 

The song ends and Sunmi gazes out the window again.

 

There is plenty to see; a couple holding hands and smiling, people moving about in their cars heading to some destination, small creatures of the night going about their lives. 

 

What Sunmi doesn't see are stars.

 

A thought comes up as a wave and crashes on the shore.

 

_I miss them. I miss seing the stars._

 

Another wave crashes, erasing the marks of the first.

 

_Tomorrow I'm going to head somewhere far away so I can lay on the grass and stare at them until I've greeted and become close with every single one._

 

Sunmi is tired. It takes a moment for that to register in her head. She looks at the time.

 

12:00 PM. Midnight.

 

She lays down and gets comfortable. The sea of thoughts is violent. She looks straight up at the plain white ceiling and wishes that she was looking at the sky.

 

Apathy sails over, demanding control. She gives it.

 

Time ticks away, and she recognizes them as ripples in the water. The sea is calming down.

 

When Sunmi's eyes close she sees a vast sky full of stars and her face lights up brighter than all of them.

 

It is 3:03 AM and the sea is finally calm.


End file.
